Have you eaten yet?

My parents provided for me, sometimes emotionally but mainly financially. The lack of emotional is something I can't change and is not to be made light of. It is a sad reality but reality none the less. So often I forget my parents guidance in school, life skills, and manners. And not to mention food in my belly everyday. I forget those things and I focus on what is lacking. Where is my emotional support? Why are you not encouraging? These are valid questions and asking/wanting these things doesn't make us weak in any way. We are social beings and it's natural for us to desire these things. Everybody wants a comforting touch and warm words when we're going through tough times. But when we really look deeper into what our parents went through, I believe we get a better picture of their lives and why they do the things they do.

I remember sitting with my grandma a few months ago and she was telling us stories back in the day when they lived in China. I could see her getting lost in her own words, surrounding herself with dusty memories that haven't been entertained in decades. I could almost picture the field that she played in, the primitive yet amazing ways they used to amuse themselves. My grandma said she used to catch cicadas (those crazy big bugs that make this rattling/buzzing sound) by chewing strawberries(because they didn't have gum) and sticking it on a long stick and basically pock the cicadas in the tree and trapping them in the sticky strawberry goo(I'll spare you the details of what she did with them next). Amazing. I can also picture the kung fu tournaments held in the market places with people flying on tables and roof tops. Wait, they had those right? Maybe I've been watching too many kung fu movies.

But it wasn't all care free play time back then. She also talked about how she and her siblings would be forced into refugee because of the civil war going on. They eventually made it to Taiwan but it was a long road traveled. The only things they had were their wits and each other. And the only thing that mattered was getting food in their belly and trying not to starve. What good would talking about their feelings do? They had to survive. So when the first thing I get asked when I'm home is, "Have you eaten?" and not "How are you? So glad you're back!" I don't see a lack of emotional support, I see a desire for their son to survive.

So when I have children I'll do my best to be an emotionally supportive father, encouraging them in their own journey of life. But I'll also make sure they know where they come from, telling stories of how their great grandparents suffered and endured so that we, their children, may have the privilege to enjoy the things they never had.

So thank you grandma, thank you grandpa. Thanks mom, thanks dad.