" Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good. That honor, courage and virtue mean everything; that power and money ... money and power mean nothing. That good always triumphs over evil. And that love....true love never dies! Doesn't matter if it is true or not, a man should believe in those things , because those are the things worth believing in."
-Hub McCann
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
It's been a month
First beer I've had in a month. The carbonation laced with the sweet aroma of the seasonal grain intertwined with the malty texture that is left lingering long after the beer is finished. Amazing.
Monday, October 5, 2009
October
October new herds along something fresh and sound,
It beckons me forth with her sweet aroma so familiar,
I dare not hasten toward the temptation found,
For what lies behind may not be so dear.
A heart that yearns and is known will find ache,
but one that makes trust it's own,
will find only that it has turned to stone.
It beckons me forth with her sweet aroma so familiar,
I dare not hasten toward the temptation found,
For what lies behind may not be so dear.
A heart that yearns and is known will find ache,
but one that makes trust it's own,
will find only that it has turned to stone.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Acting My Age
I am 23 years old, young, active, and ready for life. So why does my life style mirror one of 35 year old? While my peers are out partying on Friday night, going to clubs, getting drunk, meeting woman, I on the other hand, stay home, watch tv, and read a book. When my peers ask me what I'll be doing on Friday night or which party I'll be going to, I am hesitant and even sometimes embarrassed to admit that I will be doing neither but rather staying home reading a book or going to a dinner party.
Who ever said that I have to take advantage of my youth by "living it up", when, while we're older we realized that those things are menial and the things that really matter in life are elsewhere? So what that I like a quiet night at home, so what if I prefer a dinner party over a night club? I like quiet nights, and I like dinner parties.
Proof that possibly 35 years old is my actual age:
1. I actually think and look forward to marriage and parenthood.
2. I enjoy dinner parties.
3. I LOVE books.
4. I avoid loud and crowded places.
5. There are more spices than just garlic.
6. Puns and satires are amusing.
Who ever said that I have to take advantage of my youth by "living it up", when, while we're older we realized that those things are menial and the things that really matter in life are elsewhere? So what that I like a quiet night at home, so what if I prefer a dinner party over a night club? I like quiet nights, and I like dinner parties.
Proof that possibly 35 years old is my actual age:
1. I actually think and look forward to marriage and parenthood.
2. I enjoy dinner parties.
3. I LOVE books.
4. I avoid loud and crowded places.
5. There are more spices than just garlic.
6. Puns and satires are amusing.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Working With My Hands
The past couple days I've been helping my friend paint/remodel their house. I honestly haven't been this tired in a really long time, but also the most satisfying. So seldom, in such a technologically savvy world where everything came be done for you by a flick of a switch or a push of a button, do I get a chance to do something with my hands. To be able to work with something with your hands and see it grow and come to life creates a feeling of deep satisfaction and joy down in my gut.
I wonder if this is what God meant work to be when He created it, and simultaneously at that, the desire for work inside of us? To come home after a day of work with a sourness in your bones. A good sourness though, a sourness that can only come from doing something that you really love.
"In that day men will cast away to the moles and the bats their idols of silver and their idols of gold, which they made for themselves to worship." Isaiah 2:20
In that day, when the Lord comes, our hands will be doing once again what they were meant to be doing: worshiping God.
I wonder if this is what God meant work to be when He created it, and simultaneously at that, the desire for work inside of us? To come home after a day of work with a sourness in your bones. A good sourness though, a sourness that can only come from doing something that you really love.
"In that day men will cast away to the moles and the bats their idols of silver and their idols of gold, which they made for themselves to worship." Isaiah 2:20
In that day, when the Lord comes, our hands will be doing once again what they were meant to be doing: worshiping God.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
The Soldier and the Nurse
Her hair is tied up in a messy, but sexy bun supported by a blue bandanna, which made her stand out to him in the first place. This will have been only the third time he's met her but he can't take his eyes off of her. Underneath the blood stained and baggy rags she's wearing and has wrapped around her he sees something soft and elegant. They step outside away from the moans and screams to get some air. The air is cold and stings their lungs but they bare with it. They find two chairs scattered about the rubble, they barely even stand but it will do. As they sit he notices that she starts reaching for something in her pocket.
"Chocolate?"
He doesn't say anything, but stares at her hands. As she begins to peal the foil away from the chocolate bar, he can't but focus on the blood crusted onto her skin and finger nails. He laughs under his breath.
"What?"
"Your hands."
She looks done at her hands clumsily, "My hands?"
"You are a good nurse."
"No, no. I never want to treat a wounded man again. I would rather work in a butcher shop."
"But your touch... it calms people. This is a gift from God."
"No." shaking her head, "God would never give something so painful."
Tears begin to glaze over her eyes thinking about the men she has treated in the past. The pain in their voices, the eagerness in their screams asking for the sweet release of death. She shakes her head in attempt to shake these memories burned into her mind. It's no use.
"NURSE!" a voice screams from inside.
She rushes in frantically while trying to tie her hair back with the blue bandanna. He sits there alone, reminiscing again about her bandanna. This is the last time that they will meet. Love fluttered it's wings oh so gently for a brief moment in time, but in another moment just the same it's gone.
"Chocolate?"
He doesn't say anything, but stares at her hands. As she begins to peal the foil away from the chocolate bar, he can't but focus on the blood crusted onto her skin and finger nails. He laughs under his breath.
"What?"
"Your hands."
She looks done at her hands clumsily, "My hands?"
"You are a good nurse."
"No, no. I never want to treat a wounded man again. I would rather work in a butcher shop."
"But your touch... it calms people. This is a gift from God."
"No." shaking her head, "God would never give something so painful."
Tears begin to glaze over her eyes thinking about the men she has treated in the past. The pain in their voices, the eagerness in their screams asking for the sweet release of death. She shakes her head in attempt to shake these memories burned into her mind. It's no use.
"NURSE!" a voice screams from inside.
She rushes in frantically while trying to tie her hair back with the blue bandanna. He sits there alone, reminiscing again about her bandanna. This is the last time that they will meet. Love fluttered it's wings oh so gently for a brief moment in time, but in another moment just the same it's gone.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Snarky Sayings
I've had a lot of "sayings" or "catch phrases" in my time, and my friends as well. But there is one that I really do not like. It's known as the "...you would" saying. It's kind of caught on within the past year or so, and everyone is saying it! It's said after someone has said or done something that is consistent with previous behavior. For example:
Person 1: "I totally got some Mexican food late last night, and I loved it!"
Person 2: (in response) "...you would."
It's so hard for me to describe with sensible words how much I do not like this saying. First of all it's mean, and who likes mean people? No one. I don't like it because it gives the person saying it a sort of dominant position over the other person, as if they know that person sooo well. I suppose it's a sort of sick way of being condescending or smart.
I'm reminded of a Jack Johnson song called "Wasting Time." The chorus goes:
Everybody thinks, that everybody know about everybody else,
Nobody knows anything, about themselves,
Cuz they're all worried about everybody else.
How true these words are about people who say that. People need to stop with this saying and stop thinking they know other people so well. If you couldn't tell, I really do not like that saying.
Person 1: "I totally got some Mexican food late last night, and I loved it!"
Person 2: (in response) "...you would."
It's so hard for me to describe with sensible words how much I do not like this saying. First of all it's mean, and who likes mean people? No one. I don't like it because it gives the person saying it a sort of dominant position over the other person, as if they know that person sooo well. I suppose it's a sort of sick way of being condescending or smart.
I'm reminded of a Jack Johnson song called "Wasting Time." The chorus goes:
Everybody thinks, that everybody know about everybody else,
Nobody knows anything, about themselves,
Cuz they're all worried about everybody else.
How true these words are about people who say that. People need to stop with this saying and stop thinking they know other people so well. If you couldn't tell, I really do not like that saying.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Park Day With A Monster
Come with me, let me take you to this place I give you my word,
It's not a Volcano.
It's been such a long day, your dogs look tired,
How does a day in the park sound?
Dooday, dooday, dooday, dooday,
Please say you'll stay
Dooday, dooday,, dooday, dooday
Please say you'll play, it's just too early to go
Why don't we have a park day?
Doesn't the grass feel nice? Don't worry bout the eyes watchin.
Isn't it nice just to be, dandy?
I can't sing or play the guitar, but if you want to,
But I can hold your hand to the park.
Dooday, dooday, dooday, dooday,
Please say you'll stay
Dooday, dooday,, dooday, dooday
Please say you'll play, it's just too early to go
Why don't we have a park day?
It's not a Volcano.
It's been such a long day, your dogs look tired,
How does a day in the park sound?
Dooday, dooday, dooday, dooday,
Please say you'll stay
Dooday, dooday,, dooday, dooday
Please say you'll play, it's just too early to go
Why don't we have a park day?
Doesn't the grass feel nice? Don't worry bout the eyes watchin.
Isn't it nice just to be, dandy?
I can't sing or play the guitar, but if you want to,
But I can hold your hand to the park.
Dooday, dooday, dooday, dooday,
Please say you'll stay
Dooday, dooday,, dooday, dooday
Please say you'll play, it's just too early to go
Why don't we have a park day?
Friday, June 26, 2009
The First Steps
It feels like it's been a month already but we've only been here for a few days. So far God has been doing amazing things. $27,000 to send 5 teams around the world....raised in 1 day. This is one persons salary we are talking about here, raised in a day. This is God's economy.
So far we've been just settling in and getting a feel for Kyoto. Checking out the eateries, the campuses, the bus system, you know the basics. We're really going to get things cranking on monday when we really start going to Campus. Me and 5 others will be at Rikio (I think I spelled that right) University. Pictures will come.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
3 Days Into Briefing
I am exhausted. Christianese culture is sometimes too much. I feel like a kid who has been told that I will be going to Disneyland in a week. Being here at the briefing and waiting to go to Japan is making me a bit anxious, and tired. But necessary things are coming.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Woo-Girls
What is a Woo-Girl? Well...
A Woo-Girl is a female who is often found going 'WOOOOOO!' in public. This behavior is most often exhibited while in the presence of other woo-girls. It is speculated that this is a mating call used to attract men of less than average intelligence. This behavior can most easily be observed in bar districts, at maroon 5 concerts, or spring break destinations.
Common phrases heard:
"Who wants to play beer pong?!"
collectively, "WOO!!"
"I am soo drunk right now!"
collectively, "WOO!!"
If ever you are to be in the presence of Woo-Girls, do not panic. Slowly back away and notify me immediately.
A Woo-Girl is a female who is often found going 'WOOOOOO!' in public. This behavior is most often exhibited while in the presence of other woo-girls. It is speculated that this is a mating call used to attract men of less than average intelligence. This behavior can most easily be observed in bar districts, at maroon 5 concerts, or spring break destinations.
Common phrases heard:
"Who wants to play beer pong?!"
collectively, "WOO!!"
"I am soo drunk right now!"
collectively, "WOO!!"
If ever you are to be in the presence of Woo-Girls, do not panic. Slowly back away and notify me immediately.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Scared out of my mind!
I'm leaving for Japan on summer project in about a week or so. I'm coleading this one, and I am scared out of my mind. I'm scared about raising support, scared about talking to people, scared about what God will do with our lives. This will be my fourth summer project and it is in no way easier. Actually, the fact that it's my fourth one, makes me so much more sensitive to the little things that need to be done to pull something like this off. This just means I have to depend on the Lord that much more now. It is terrifying how much I have to give up. But I give it gladly.
Monday, May 18, 2009
But If I Lack Love...
"I may have faith to make mountains fall, but if I lack love, I am nothing at all"
- Lauren Hill
This is one of my favorite lyrical rhymes from Lauren Hill who is such a talented rapper/ artist. And one of the things that makes her so unique is that she sings from scripture. This lyric is actually taken from 1 Corinthians 13:1, and it speaks about the Excellence of Love. Even after I've typed these lyrics out, I'm still amazed at it's message. It's core is so simple and yet so profound. We can have all the spiritual gifts that God can offer, but without love all our speaking in tongues, fasting, endless prayers, mission trips to save the world mean nothing.
I can look back to a hand full of times in my past where I would a conversation with someone about the faith in Jesus, and I could have cared less about whether that person ended up in Heaven or Hell. All I cared about was being right. Nothing else mattered. In hindsight I can see how God has been faithful in growing me and teaching me how love. But I will probably never see those people again and I will never be able to take those words back. The words have been exchanged and the emotions have been felt. I'll probably never get a chance to apologize to those people but I'm going to say I'm sorry anyways. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a hypocritical Christian. I'm sorry for taking the love God offered to us and perverting it into a competition of right and wrong. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel angry or unloved. But most of all I'm sorry if I ever in any way hindered you from seeing God's unfailing and unwavering love for you.
It's never been about me, it never will. My so called "faith" is and always will be a vessel to which God pours out His love. May my faith never be a podium of pride and glory from which I stand and boast. For what more can I boast in than the love of Jesus? I bow humbly before the true and only source of our faith- God.
- Lauren Hill
This is one of my favorite lyrical rhymes from Lauren Hill who is such a talented rapper/ artist. And one of the things that makes her so unique is that she sings from scripture. This lyric is actually taken from 1 Corinthians 13:1, and it speaks about the Excellence of Love. Even after I've typed these lyrics out, I'm still amazed at it's message. It's core is so simple and yet so profound. We can have all the spiritual gifts that God can offer, but without love all our speaking in tongues, fasting, endless prayers, mission trips to save the world mean nothing.
I can look back to a hand full of times in my past where I would a conversation with someone about the faith in Jesus, and I could have cared less about whether that person ended up in Heaven or Hell. All I cared about was being right. Nothing else mattered. In hindsight I can see how God has been faithful in growing me and teaching me how love. But I will probably never see those people again and I will never be able to take those words back. The words have been exchanged and the emotions have been felt. I'll probably never get a chance to apologize to those people but I'm going to say I'm sorry anyways. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a hypocritical Christian. I'm sorry for taking the love God offered to us and perverting it into a competition of right and wrong. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel angry or unloved. But most of all I'm sorry if I ever in any way hindered you from seeing God's unfailing and unwavering love for you.
It's never been about me, it never will. My so called "faith" is and always will be a vessel to which God pours out His love. May my faith never be a podium of pride and glory from which I stand and boast. For what more can I boast in than the love of Jesus? I bow humbly before the true and only source of our faith- God.
Friday, April 24, 2009
What do you stand for?
I'm coming home from a leadership meeting with epic and I am overwhelmed with an emotion in which I can only describe as Frustration. What are we as men standing for?
A student shares about an event that happened this past week which involved himself and a friend hanging around a pool. They get into the jacuzzi and there are two other guys there. They start talking and the topic of Legal Prostitution in Amsterdam comes up. Our two students are flabbergasted and don't know what to say, so they just leave. Then he goes on to explain that as Christians we need to discern when it is the appropriate time to speak up. I'm thinking to myself.....DISCERN WHAT?!!? Is Prostitution not a big enough issue for us as "Christians" to take a stand and say...."Enough, we WILL not stand around while you disgrace women like that!"
Some may disagree, for example the people in that meeting, but I personally feel this is a huge problem, specifically Christian men. We are so concerned about making sure the other person doesn't feel offended, and treading softly that we forget to stand for what is right! There is no waiting around to see if the conversation can head in a direction where the Gospel can be presented. This is exactly what happened to Adam and Eve. Adam waited around too long to "see where the conversation is leading" instead of saying "DROP THAT APPLE!" We wait- righteousness and justice is lost. What are we standing for? Jesus in the temple with the merchants. Jesus didn't wait around or go around quietly to the merchants asking them to leave. Jesus saw injustice and He acted with Passion, Anger, Zeal, and opened a can on their ass.
When my life comes to an end, I want to say I stood for something. Justice, Love, Righteousness, Holiness, whatever. I just want to say I stood for something. What is life worth living if it is not lived by the moment, by each adrenaline pumping breath?
As a generation of men, and women, let us live lives standing for something. Dying for something.
A student shares about an event that happened this past week which involved himself and a friend hanging around a pool. They get into the jacuzzi and there are two other guys there. They start talking and the topic of Legal Prostitution in Amsterdam comes up. Our two students are flabbergasted and don't know what to say, so they just leave. Then he goes on to explain that as Christians we need to discern when it is the appropriate time to speak up. I'm thinking to myself.....DISCERN WHAT?!!? Is Prostitution not a big enough issue for us as "Christians" to take a stand and say...."Enough, we WILL not stand around while you disgrace women like that!"
Some may disagree, for example the people in that meeting, but I personally feel this is a huge problem, specifically Christian men. We are so concerned about making sure the other person doesn't feel offended, and treading softly that we forget to stand for what is right! There is no waiting around to see if the conversation can head in a direction where the Gospel can be presented. This is exactly what happened to Adam and Eve. Adam waited around too long to "see where the conversation is leading" instead of saying "DROP THAT APPLE!" We wait- righteousness and justice is lost. What are we standing for? Jesus in the temple with the merchants. Jesus didn't wait around or go around quietly to the merchants asking them to leave. Jesus saw injustice and He acted with Passion, Anger, Zeal, and opened a can on their ass.
When my life comes to an end, I want to say I stood for something. Justice, Love, Righteousness, Holiness, whatever. I just want to say I stood for something. What is life worth living if it is not lived by the moment, by each adrenaline pumping breath?
As a generation of men, and women, let us live lives standing for something. Dying for something.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Weekend in SLO
If I could describe my weekend in SLO in a few words, they would be:
-Blessed
-Exhausted
- Relaxing
To come away from a weekend knowing that I have friends who care about me is both a humbling and joyous sensation. Sometimes I just need to be reminded that sometimes I have friends out there outside of my city who care and love me.
4 hours up and 4 hours down. Lots of driving, and my butt gets numb. But within these 8 or so hours of just me, I find that I can hear myself think. Things that I would not normally think or ponder about surfaces to my consciousness. I won't go into what those things are but it's relieving to reflect on those things.
I need a moi moi.
-Blessed
-Exhausted
- Relaxing
To come away from a weekend knowing that I have friends who care about me is both a humbling and joyous sensation. Sometimes I just need to be reminded that sometimes I have friends out there outside of my city who care and love me.
4 hours up and 4 hours down. Lots of driving, and my butt gets numb. But within these 8 or so hours of just me, I find that I can hear myself think. Things that I would not normally think or ponder about surfaces to my consciousness. I won't go into what those things are but it's relieving to reflect on those things.
I need a moi moi.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Crazy Lady at Borders
This peculiar story begins with me studying at Borders. I like this specific Borders because everything seems spread out and wide and in view. So right when you walk into the store, all you see are books! So as I enter I heard toward the coffee section of the store with tables and chairs. I check out which tables are open and which is optimal for getting work done. I see a wide square table with no one there expect an empty chair, and I think, "Sweet!" So I settle down and lay open my massive math books and begin to work away. Then, maybe 20 minutes later this elderly Black women comes over and asks if I could switch tables with her so that she can do her "homework." Keep in mind all my math books are spread eagle. And as she makes her suggestion she points to a smaller open table about half the size of mine. I ponder for a second and try to figure out if I should oblige. I decide and I say, "No thanks, I'm going to stick with my table to do my homework." Then what comes next takes a few seconds for me to process because of the pure ridiculousness of it.
"That's Greed!"
"That's just so selfish, that's what it is!"
"This young man has no respect at all!"
...and continues for another few minutes with similar comments.
My flabber is gasted. Where the heck did this crazy old woman come from?! What the heck is she talking about?! She continues with her comments while I attempt to finish my homework but it's no use. I look around at some of the other people around me and they seem to be as in shock as I am. One gentleman says to me softly...."tell her to f*** off, finish your homework." For a moment I am comforted that at least one other person is as flustered as I am, and I am finally able to finish my homework.
I think back and it's find of funny but what a crazy situation. What a crazy lady. Where do these people come from?
"That's Greed!"
"That's just so selfish, that's what it is!"
"This young man has no respect at all!"
...and continues for another few minutes with similar comments.
My flabber is gasted. Where the heck did this crazy old woman come from?! What the heck is she talking about?! She continues with her comments while I attempt to finish my homework but it's no use. I look around at some of the other people around me and they seem to be as in shock as I am. One gentleman says to me softly...."tell her to f*** off, finish your homework." For a moment I am comforted that at least one other person is as flustered as I am, and I am finally able to finish my homework.
I think back and it's find of funny but what a crazy situation. What a crazy lady. Where do these people come from?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Slowing Down
This past holiday season has been the most non-stop, do as much as possible holiday season I've ever had. One week in Vegas, few days in SLO, and random scrambling back home. But now I've finally done all I can. I'm finally starting to slow down and take my time. And I must say, I have never slept so well consecutively ever.
Something that I love about doing nothing, is that I can do everything. I can do things that I would normally not be able to do when everything is on full blast. I can read, I can journal, I can ponder over anything and everything, I can even catch up on reading other people's posts. But the thing about slowing down is, it's not just physically slowing down that allows myself to do these things, but I literally have to mentally tell myself to take a step down. I say, "Ok, time to slow down. Slow down your breathing, close your eyes, and maybe slow down your heart alittle."
So what's next on my list of do nothings?
- Finish my book
- Journal my brains out
- Think about Philosophical mumbo jumbo
- Read my Bible
- Play my guitar
Thoughts: Don't make potstickers while blogging because they might burn......and did.
Something that I love about doing nothing, is that I can do everything. I can do things that I would normally not be able to do when everything is on full blast. I can read, I can journal, I can ponder over anything and everything, I can even catch up on reading other people's posts. But the thing about slowing down is, it's not just physically slowing down that allows myself to do these things, but I literally have to mentally tell myself to take a step down. I say, "Ok, time to slow down. Slow down your breathing, close your eyes, and maybe slow down your heart alittle."
So what's next on my list of do nothings?
- Finish my book
- Journal my brains out
- Think about Philosophical mumbo jumbo
- Read my Bible
- Play my guitar
Thoughts: Don't make potstickers while blogging because they might burn......and did.
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